My kids often say the weirdest things. Just today, while going through my son’s Kindergarten phonics lesson, something he said made me suck in my breath!! Until of course, I looked over at what he was working on and then I laughed out loud. No need for a panic 🙂 The boy was working on the ‘ea’ phonetic combination. He read it right the first time, but then to be funny, he sounded out each vowel for itself. The word he was working on?
I wanted to share these but also wanted to warn you, kids do say that darnedest things!!! We as adults must remember to be careful with our words, especially when kids are around. They hear everything and repeat things without discernment!!! I left this one un-edited because it just made more sense in some places, so if language really does bother you, skip this post!!
1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)
2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you
don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)
4) – Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) – A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its
head. (Billy, age 8)
6) – My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman
and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) – When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to
cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been
better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) – Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get
pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) – I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
a always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has
just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) – Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher,
11) – When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) – Divers have to be safe when they go under the water..
Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky, age 8)
13) – On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when
she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water
fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7)
14) – The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t
drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) – My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all about the
ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my
mom. (James, age 7)
5 thoughts on “Kids and the Ocean”
Oh I love it!
I whistle after I eat beans. I could write a response for each one. Very funny. I wish I could these kids to write a post or two for me.
I have told my kids that I want them to write a post for me…maybe I will do that!!
Hilarious! Found via BIONIPT!
It still cracks me up, 2 years later 🙂