I can’t be the only one who thinks things have to be done my way. Yes, I am the firstborn and naturally have all that leadership/control freak/domineering… (oh whatever name you wish to give it) within me. I distinctly remember the first time my MIL caught me vacuuming my kitchen floors. “Why don’t you sweep it?” she asked me, with that look on her face saying: FREAK! Now I have children and I am teaching them to do things my way. Like how to load a dishwasher and how to vacuum and how to prepare things in a kitchen. All of this is done my way. I even find myself reading other blogs about other people’s lives and think to myself “they could do it my way.”
Of course this has caused a bit of strain in various relationships over the years. My sisters do talk to me again now and my younger sister even likes having me around 😉 I stress my husband out at times because I naturally think things go smooth when they are done my way. He is a firstborn also, more on that fun later 😉
Does anyone want to guess where things have really gotten rocky? I have, for years, struggled with wanting everything in life to go my way… including my relationship with God. See, I have that ridiculous concept that if He just sits in the back seat while I drive, things will go well!! The Holy Spirit was kind enough to open my eyes to this foolishness in many ways over the years (yes, read that statement with sarcasm). Through trials of various kinds I would cry out and anger saying “why can’t it just go my way??!!!”
But my way is my way, selfish, self-centered, self seeking. My way does not really account for other’s or their insignificant feelings. My way leaves out a powerful Creator who has never needed my good opinion as He orders this world and the changing seasons, the ocean currents, the storms and their refreshing effects on the earth. I didn’t come up with any of that. Whenever I begin thinking this sinful ‘my’ way again, I run to Job Chapter 38, where He is quite clear with Job
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined it’s measurements-surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made cloudds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, “Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall y our proud wavves be stayed?”
It has been a rocky road, a barron desert, a painful crossing. I have learned that God’s Will is perfect, my will is finite and incomplete. My pride must be put away and I desire to walk humbly with my Lord. If you share in this struggle, work and meditate through Job 38 and write this on your bathroom mirror to memorize.
Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what the LORD requires of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?